Why it’s Essential to Drink Wine

My family fed me wine at the dinner table at an age that would summon family services today in a blink. Not just dainty store-bought ersatz chablis but hard-core dago-red (most Italian winemakers accept that term as a legitimate description of what they make every Fall). My grandfather made his ever every October and bless his wine-making soul, it was not good. And it wasn’t made in a sterile room but in a cellar that accumulated 2 inches of concrete dust yearly falling from the poorly built century-old stone walls and any airborne detritus that occupied our air. It was a veritable hell-hole of petrie dish possibilities. Could we expect anything drinkable after such a horrific infancy?

I was not yet 2 years old, but their reasoning for feeding the crimson libation to the newest in the family was impeccable. Though they had no scientific proof, they “felt” that wine was an antioxidant and anti-microbial agent though they would not recognize those words if they existed. And lord knows, they and their peers all had octo, nono, and centenarian ancestors, many still vital if apriori proof was needed.

And wine looks good. Can we find words to accurately describe the brilliant, iridescent and on-fire shades of red that wines throw off, essential for Italians, aesthetes that they are. It aids blood circulation and works to prevent anemia. And it taste good. Sometimes, when drinking great wine, I can’t find the words to describe it, but I don’t want to stop drinking it. What could be bad and how did they know?

Owing to the increased vapidity in our society, people who drink wine are “seen” as sophisticated, while people who order cocktails are seen as snobbish, and people who order beer are seen as “everyman’. But ordering a Chateau Beychevelle ’61 sounds much better than ”I’ll have a brew”.

Though ordering cocktails appears sophisticated, the silly names seem to corrupt that notion. Time to Lime, Atomic Cat, LuLus Bushwhacker, Angry Balls? Give me a break, who’s going to take you seriously after you order one of those? And beer? light or dark is just about it

Drinking wine sets you apart as being discriminating. Ask anyone who drinks more than a six-pack of beer daily what they want first and foremost in their beer and the reply is almost unanimous; “just so it’s cold”. Ask a wine drinker and they will have a definite preference so the sophistication is built-in at no extra cost. Do I want Chardonnay or Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon or Trebbiano? Just the idea of having such a list to choose from sets you apart.

In some arcane history, Charlemagne and Mrs. Charlemagne were close to a divorce—the reason. Chuck loved wine, but the wine from his vineyards was red, and his beard was blond. The red-stained beard upset Mrs. C’s sensibilities and made her want to leave. Not one to be hasty, she devised a plan. When Charlemagne was off doing whatever Charlemagne did, she had the red wine vines torn out and replaced them with chardonnay grapes for white wine: white wine, no stains, problem solved.

Julius Caesar was ancient Rome’s greatest general and its first and most authoritative dictator.

Everyone was curious as to why Caesar’s legions were so loyal to him, each willing to fight to the death for him. Caesar explained. I pay them well and am never late. I never ask them to do what I wouldn’t. I give them a portion of the spoils, and I keep their canteens filled with wine.

When Allied troops took Hitler’s residence at Berstegaden, there were thousands of bottles of Germany’s greatest wines neatly stacked, catalogued and undrunk. Hitler did not drink wine and the results speak for themselves.

Churchill drank just about everything but wine, but then, he was Churchill. For the mortals among us, wine is the answer.

But for certain, wine enhances the taste of any food we eat. While there is little that quite hits the spot like an almond biscotti, eaten alone it is wonderful, eat it with sips of Tuscany’s legendary vin santo (Sainted wine) and it is ethereal.

And what about Florence’s ode to beef, Bistecca ala Fiorentina? Tell anyone who has partaken of this carnal gift without a hefty goblet of aged Amarone that they have squandered a rare gustatory treat.

And why waste a fresh taste of the sea like cioppino fish stew without a glass of chilled new Beaujolais?

And steamed north Atlantic lobster is wonderful alone, with a glass of Montrachet, it is heaven.

To make your life easier, know that the answer to most problems is wine, wine today, wine tomorrow, wine forever!